why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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