The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
