wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
