the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
