guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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