They should really pass out barf bags in church
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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