The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Acid is not a monday night drug
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
