Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
