absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There's always time for handjobs
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
