My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
