One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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