i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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