I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
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That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
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HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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