i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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