She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
