She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
