The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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