Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
