his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
