right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
