I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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