I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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