I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
