if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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