i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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