we're blogging at a bar
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
