I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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