i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
only if we run a train.
done.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Actions speak louder than pants.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
