Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
