she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
