when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you never un-have a 4some
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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