ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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