how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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