New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
