You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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