Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
