Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize