i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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