Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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