I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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