its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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