There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just high enough for therapy.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
