I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
