it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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