Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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