Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Congratulations! We have a period
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