grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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