On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
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