hell yes lets make some ravioli
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
