The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
