Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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