he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
