I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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