so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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