Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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