why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
