youre lurking in front of me
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
