He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
