OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
