Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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