Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
