hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
