hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
