called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
