I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
