Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
