I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize