I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
