Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This is my gift to your gina
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
