we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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